A lesson in femininity

Susana Lorena at Maison SL Boutique

Photo courtesy of Susana Lorena

Olivia Ward-Jackson chats to lingerie expert Susana Lorena about the pressures facing modern women.

As I look through a window display of elegant silk lingerie, I catch sight of what seems to be a very small tigress, staring coyly at me with her bright green eyes. I have come to ask Susana Lorena, proud owner of the Bengal cat and Maison SL boutique, what she’s learned about women having worked in the lingerie business for over twenty years. 

“Harness your femininity – it is very powerful”, Susana advised me.

In the workplace, women often feel a pressure to adopt typically masculine ways of acting and speaking, and might shy away from a more feminine approach that can be just as effective. Susana observes that “women tend to be better at listening and asking questions than men” and they should use these skills to their advantage rather than competing for an alpha male silverback award. She added that men who also possess these “softer”, more sensitive feminine attributes tend to have very successful careers.    

“I am not a feminist”, Susana exclaimed. “Being a woman has not restricted me. In fact it has almost always helped me”. Although Susana clearly believes in equality between men and women, she doesn’t think that means the two genders have to be the same. Instead, she argues that women should embrace and celebrate feminine character traits, rather than downplaying them in an attempt to prove themselves equal to men.

Society must learn to accept and respect feminine qualities, whilst also coming terms with the reality of the female body. “Femininity is not a Victoria’s Secret model” insists Susana, but can be found in women of every age or body type. The fashion world is not representative of real women, which is why in the past Susana has organised a yearly charity fashion show using her clients as models to showcase her collection. She describes how her clients, although scared before, were “incredible on the catwalk, and felt immensely powerful”.

Photo courtesy of Susana Lorena

It is shocking how many young girls feel insecure about their bodies, partly because they are so exposed to the unrealistic beauty standards propagated by the fashion industry. Susana suggests this is more prominent in Britain, where women are just “too cold to take their clothes off” for most of the year. Susana is from Portugal, where she claims girls are so regularly exposed to normal women in tiny bikinis on the beach that they develop healthier attitudes towards their own bodies. 

Susana stresses that it is the role of mothers to make sure their daughters are comfortable in their own skin, whatever their body morphology. “Women should teach other women it’s ok to be a girl. If you are uncomfortable undressing in front of your mother and sister, you will always feel awkward undressing before anyone.”

Change is in the air, especially when it comes to lingerie. “Victoria’s Secret is still a powerful brand, but it will have to adapt if it wants to survive.” The modern woman does not want to go to work in a push up bra adorned with diamantes, rather she looks for comfortable and delicate bras that suit her shape. The Victoria’s Secret promise of ‘the sexiest panties & lingerie’ and ‘the most beautiful Supermodels’ is going out of vogue.

In her boutique Susana sees women embracing their femininity at all stages of life. There have even been occasions when three generations of women from the same family are all in her store at once. Susana reveals “my oldest client is 92, with an 80 year old boyfriend, and always buys the most beautiful nighties”. Moreover, Susana finds that women buy lingerie when they want to feel powerful, such as after going through a difficult childbirth or a divorce.

Shop assistants Tiga and Bubbles

Photo courtesy of Susana Lorena

Some of Susana’s regular clients have recently suffered from breast cancer, and buy from her collection of specially designed non-wired bras. Susana observes that some women choose not to have breast reconstructions, whilst others are very pleased with theirs. Either way she finds “women who survive breast cancer really want to enjoy life. Their perspective of what is important changes, as does their attitude towards their body.”

“A powerful woman is comfortable with and proud of her femininity”, explains Susana. Beautiful lingerie nurtures a sense of femininity and with it a feeling of empowerment. Indeed, Susana tells me that some of her most high-powered clients secretly like to wear their prettiest underwear in important meetings to help them feel more confident.

Despite popular assumptions, it seems that power and femininity go hand in hand.