Confessions of a serial overthinker
Iqra Ahmad examines the downfalls of overthinking, and how to press pause when stuck endlessly replaying that embarrassing moment.
Source: Hans-Peter Gauster on Unsplash.
When faced with the series of photos you’ve posted to your Snapchat story the morning after a boozy night out, or the aftermath of drunk texts sent to that person, I think the ensuing panic and mental overdrive is fairly common. However “hangxiety”, as it has recently been termed, combined with my tendency to overthink, took these feelings to new heights. In fact, it was a deadly fusion, often leading to downward spirals (do my friends hate me?) and empty promises “never to drink again.” When I inevitably fell down the same rabbit hole a few days later, I drove myself — and everyone around me — insane.
Being an overthinker has its perks. Every possible outcome for a situation is considered, so the route to achieving a goal is often clearer. However, chronic overthinking also brings with it a multitude of other negative consequences: spontaneity is thrown out the window, tasks take double the length of time to complete, embarrassing moments are lived and re-lived. I think the worst part about overthinking is the tendency to find a “hidden” meaning in everything. An awkward silence, or small change in someone's tone mid-conversation, is enough to keep me from falling asleep at night. Text messages play a significant role in this (not to mention the use of emojis), and with every little interaction deconstructed, overthinking easily shifts into a form of self-sabotage. Sleep-deprived and anxious, plagued by the recurring thought “will they like me?”, I talk myself out of events, experiences, and relationships.
A close friend of mine recently revealed that she had stuck Blu-Tack over her webcam, after feeling apprehensive at the thought of her camera switching on during a Zoom lecture. I cannot help but feel as if this is the modern portrait of the overthinking university student, with feelings of fear and anxiety being transferred into the virtual environment, in which online classes have become a brand-new challenge to navigate.
Being a chronic overthinker is frustrating, draining and massively unhelpful at the best of times. Although there is no quick-fix antidote to stop dwelling on things we frequently have zero control over, there are certainly ways in which this unfortunate habit can be gradually overcome. Overthinking shows a desire to care compassionately about anything and everything; it demonstrates a real self-awareness. This combination can be used to help improve outlooks and even shift perspectives. Rather than ruminating on all the possible negative situations, I have learnt to use this time to consider positive solutions to a problem — a far better outcome than fixating on feelings of sadness and powerlessness (which are usually caused by a bout of overthinking in the first place).
Channeling these thoughts into creative activities is also a great way to unwind and practice mindfulness. Journalling, drawing, and painting put the overthinker’s vivid imagination to work in a constructive way, and serve as useful distractions from getting overwhelmed. Decluttering the mind doesn’t have to be viewed as a tedious process, and being an overthinker can be a strength, not just a weakness, depending on how we use the time we spend reflecting. Crucially, it is important to remember that everyone at some point or another finds themselves caught up in a harmful thought-loop that they cannot find a way out of. It is perfectly natural to fixate on things beyond our control — but it is just as important we avoid catastrophising and consistently redirect these thoughts towards bettering the present.