Review: 'Roman Kemp: Our Silent Emergency'

“Roman Kemp: Our Silent Emergency” is a raw and unflinchingly honest exploration of mental health problems and suicidality in young men. Long overdue, the documentary focuses on the lived experiences of both survivors and those bereaved by suicide.

Source: Wikimedia Commons

Roman Kemp, the radio DJ and presenter, partnered with BBC Three to make a moving and poignant documentary, exploring the “silent emergency” of poor mental health and increasing suicide rates in young men. He travels across the UK, gathering the stories of those bereaved by suicide, hearing from men who survived an attempt themselves, and the professionals who support and research those in crisis. What makes the documentary so compelling is that Roman himself recently lost one of his closest friends and colleagues, Joe Lyons. A happy-go-lucky TV and radio producer, Joe took his own life during the pandemic, a loss that shocked those closest to him.

Losing Joe has been difficult to accept and Roman is candid about the tumult of emotions he experiences: sadness, confusion, anger. The documentary deftly explores bereavement by suicide and its profound ambivalence. Those that Roman interviews are plagued by the same questions as him: Why did this happen? Why didn’t they reach out? What could I have done?

At the University of Glasgow, Roman interviews Professor Rory O’Connor, of the Suicidal Behaviour research lab. His lab is trying to understand a shocking statistic: 75 per cent of those that lose their lives to suicide are male. The fact is, many men do not seek help, and O’Connor identifies threats to masculinity as a contributing factor to this. What ultimately predicts suicide is a feeling of entrapment, and with a sense that they have no one to turn to, men are turning on themselves. Despite this, the social issues that lead to poor mental health and personal crisis are often overlooked. The outcome? Distress is ultimately medicalised and individualised and wider issues are ignored. In fact, risk of poor mental health is reliably linked to the social, economic and physical environments in which people live.

In the UK, there has been a recent reckoning with male violence in society, particularly towards women. The patriarchal attitudes and gendered social norms that have underpinned society for so long are now being interrogated in mainstream spaces. Some have drawn attention to the other side of the coin of male violence in society - men hurting themselves. Could the same social norms contribute to men’s mental health problems?

Shockingly, the number of younger men hurting themselves has increased in recent years. In one of the rawest moments in the documentary, Roman speaks to a young group of school friends in Belfast who have lost their friend Carl to suicide. Northern Ireland has the highest rate of male suicide in the UK, with teenagers two to three times more likely to die by suicide than young men in England. 

The boys are being supported by a local charity who is helping them to process the loss of Carl in group therapy. Sitting in their session, Roman is visibly affected by their openness, as they are encouraged to support each other in processing their grief. It should not be the case that seeing males be open in this way on camera seems radical and shocking, yet it is. But another statistic reveals its importance: those bereaved by suicide are one-third more likely to consider taking their own life.

The camera cuts and it is a grey morning in Belfast. The boys are playing football together, joking around, being normal lads, and the contrast is stark. Ideas of femininity have undergone major revision and expansion in the last 50 years, and a more ambitious vision for masculinity should surely follow.

The strength of this documentary is in its reflexivity, and Roman’s willingness to bear all. He invites the camera into intimate moments of revelation for him and his family. Roman himself was diagnosed with depression at 15 and has been taking antidepressants ever since. What is more, it was only a year before losing Joe that his mum had to come and pick him up in a moment of personal crisis. It is only during this documentary, while walking the family dog with his mum, that he reveals to her just how low he was feeling and that he too considered taking his own life. 

There is another initiative on the front line of the crisis, helping suicidal young people in Nottingham. Roman spends an evening with staff from an emergency services hub that has partnered with the NHS. They have received calls from children as young as 11 reporting suicidal thoughts. Young men report not being where they should be in life, comparing themselves with their friends, and worrying that they are letting their parents or loved ones down. 

So, what can be done for young people? Embedding mental health in the education system is one approach, and some schools are starting young. The documentary sees Roman visit a school that is putting mental health at the heart of their curriculum. In a year 6 classroom, a teacher asks: what might be the problem if someone is experiencing sadness for days or weeks? “Depression” says a young boy, no older than 10. Raising awareness and addressing the stigma of mental health problems is important. But young people should also be given the tools to think about their feelings in ways that are not alienating. So, what is really essential is listening to the lived realities that lead to this distress, and a conversation about the wider societal forces and pressures for all males would be a good place to start.