Spill The Beans: Gordon’s Cafe Review
Photography by Iulia Topan
Hannah Pennauer and Eamonn Lynch-Bowers give us all the tea on Gordon’s with the first in their UCL cafe review series, Spill the Beans.
Welcome to the very first edition of Spill The Beans, a series in which your soon-to-be favourite coffee reviewers Hannah Penn and Eamonn Lynch-Bowers meet up to scrutinise each time a different UCL cafe. We’ll provide answers to pressing matters such as cup sizes, ambiance, and where oh where can you get the most caffeine for your buck? All in an attempt to answer the ultimate question on everyone’s lips: which is the best UCL cafe?
For our first review, we’ve decided to visit the cafe which, according to everyone we asked (i.e. our housemate Ben) is THE quintessential spot: Gordon’s Cafe - or as those who prefer a pint to a cuppa might know it as: the one below Phineas.
Photography by Iulia Topan
The first thing you notice about Gordon’s is that it is BUSY. However, despite the hectic atmosphere, we manage to find a table and neither of us waits long in the queue. We can’t help but marvel at Gordon’s impressive culinary range, which offers so much more than your standard meal deal. Fancy a chicken tikka masala on your lunch break? A berry parfait for snack time? Or maybe an apple strudel? Gordon’s has you covered.
In order to make our findings as statistically accurate as possible, we’ve decided to order the same drinks at every cafe we visit. Eamonn is a big boy (5’11”) who likes a big latte, with a double shot to spice things up. Hannah is an Americano aficionado who likes her milk alternative, so she has it either with almond or soya, depending on availability.
Photography by Iulia Topan
Eamonn’s thoughts
The humble latte is the bread-and-butter of the coffee world; the staple of all staples. Although simple in principle, it can be easily led astray: it is thus in many ways the ultimate test of barista dexterity. What waits in store for this latte-loving customer?
First impressions are good: from order to cup in a little under 2 minutes, even on a busy afternoon such as this. I take a sip and the double-shot hits me: for just 50p extra, there certainly is a lot of bang in this buck. I’m a fan of strong coffee, but even this might prove more than I can handle. Once the immediate impact subsides, the richer textures of the Good Coffee Company bean begin to flower and the beverage grows on me. For a latte, the froth lasts for a decent, if a little fleeting amount of time. It’s not as silky as I would have hoped for, but it will certainly do for the time being. Overall impression: content. Overall emotional status: somewhat distracted by the socialist literature planted across the walls.
Photography by Iulia Topan
Photography by Iulia Topan
Hannah’s thoughts
My usual milk-alternative preference is almond, however Gordon’s offers either soya or oat, from the well-known range Alpro, which you’re free to pour in yourself at the till. Now at first I was very concerned about a phenomenon every dairy-free coffee drinker will know all too well: curdling. An invention of Satan himself that typically can only be avoided by heating, shaking, frothing and an ancient ritual praising Gwyneth Paltrow. Yet to my pleasant surprise the soya milk produced no curdling, which I will quite confidently put down to the established brand they use. Initially the taste was quite pleasant: there was a certain degree of sharpness, but it was nicely calmed by the milkiness of the beverage. Unfortunately, as the coffee cooled down, a tangy aftertaste crept in and the drink became significantly less enjoyable. Admittedly it is a feature many mediocre coffees share, but nevertheless it was slightly disappointing, especially as the culprit was most likely the subpar insulation of the paper cups. It seems not even Gwyneth Paltrow could have prevented this kind of let-down.
Photography by Iulia Topan
Photography by Iulia Topan
The Lowdown
Coffee Beans: Fair Trade, The Real Coffee Company (the baristas didn’t know which exact one)
Taste: Decent. 6/10
Cup sizes: Medium (350ml) or Large (450ml)
Price: Eamonn’s double-shot latte came to £2.75, and Hannah’s americano was £1.70. If you bring your own cup, the cheapest coffee you can get is a small filter coffee for 85p, and the most you can spend on a single shot beverage is £2.35 for a mocha. 7/10
Variety: Very good range of drinks. Obviously, you won’t get a strawberry white mocha frappuccino, but all your classics are there. Milk-alternative wise, Gordon’s could step up their game a little. 6/10
Ambience: Definitely not a place to hang out and cosy up with a good book. You’ll probably leave more stressed out than when you walked in. The decor also leaves a lot to be desired but hey, they have tables and chairs. 2/10
Bonus points: The fun feature of the cafe is the clock suspended from the ceiling, although it was around 3 minutes ahead of British Standard Time. Seams like time really does move faster when you’re in Gordon’s Cafe.