What Christmas means to me as an Agnostic
Finding moments of warmth in Winter
Source: Unsplash
Christmas doesn’t feel like Christmas to me if a certain number of things don’t take place. The tree must be up in the front room, I need a cup of mulled wine, and I have to watch Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, and You’ve Got Mail. To me, and so many other people, Nora Ephron films are synonymous with Christmas. But what is it about a Jewish woman’s work that provides such strong associations with a Christian holiday?
I am not a religious person, yet Christmas is my favourite time of year. I struggled with this idea when I was younger- feeling guilty receiving presents, while commemorating traditions I did not believe in. However, through my friendships with Christians, I came to an understanding with myself that the festive season is about something much bigger.
One of the fundamental tenets of Christianity is to love. To share love. The celebration of Christmas is an extension of that. That is what has always drawn me to this time of year; people going an extra mile to be generous and caring towards each other. There’s a sense of community and compassion.
Although the UK is home to people of numerous faiths, it is culturally Christian; the two main breaks we have within the university year are Christmas and Easter. The majority of people are not expected to work on Christmas day, but Ramadan, Hanukkah, Maghi, Diwali and countless others are expected to be business as usual. In an increasingly small world, that is ever more connected and able to learn about the cultures and beliefs of those around us, is it right that a country should be defined by a religion that does not apply to all of its inhabitants?
Probably not, but regardless of faith, or lack of it, much of Christmas is the same for anyone. All human cultures mark the passing of the seasons, and we can all appreciate the transition to longer days. It’s widely accepted that the birth of Jesus was not even on 25th December, with no mention in the Gospels of a season. What can be determined, however, is the winter solstice, marking the shortest day of the year, and the pivot point for daylight hours returning.
To me now, Christmas is the time when I am happily reminded of how grateful I am for the people I love. There is a collective effort to make time for one another. The Christmas season marks a coming together of family - the one you may be born into and the ones you create for yourself. Even if some are often easier to love from afar, we still take comfort in the companionship only found in their nearness.
Going into the second festive period that has now been affected by Covid-19, this feels particularly salient. In the past, we may have often found it easier to choose to love from afar, but when that choice is taken from us we gain new perspectives. Everyone has been given a lot of time alone with their thoughts in the past two years, and with that, the opportunity to evaluate the importance of relationships. While we may be grateful for the presents we receive, the presence of those we love is singularly valued.
This Christmas still feels far from familiar, but Nora Ephron’s films will always feel like a quintessential part of the season to me. The big three are lauded as some of the most iconic Rom-Coms of all time - as writer Caroline O’Donoghue put it, even ‘men who say they don’t like Rom-Coms will say they love When Harry Met Sally to get themselves out of misogyny jail’. Above all - they document love and the passing of time. And that is what we all come together to celebrate at the end of each year.
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