Freshers Blues: It's Okay to Feel Lonely

Photo Courtesy: Students’ Union UCL

Freshers week is a world renowned phenomenon. It seems that everyone has big expectations: club nights, loud music and enough alcohol to sink a ship. But this dream of there being one long party is nothing more than a myth – oftentimes, freshers week is more of a nightmare.

Loneliness is a common feeling in university, but one that few people talk about. Alongside issues of anxiety and stress, loneliness is a significant mental health issue. Data from the Office of National Statistics (ONS) reveals that over 15% of students feel lonely on a weekly basis, while another third feel lonely on a monthly basis. These figures are stark. They reflect the reality of university and the major lifestyle changes that students experience. 

Starting a new course and, more crucially, moving away from home, is a big deal. For many, this is the first step into adulthood. The emotional turmoil of this transition cannot be underestimated.

In the digital age of social media, this experience of loneliness is exacerbated. As you scroll through your ‘insta’ feed, already feeling homesick or out of place, the last thing you want to see is other people having a good time. Living in London, a city that is isolating by its sheer size, is a further issue in its own right. 

But ultimately, feelings of loneliness are commonplace. As cliche as it sounds, people who feel lonely are not alone. Aside from friends and family, there are many places you can turn to when you are feeling isolated: the NHS has a great page on mindfulness, which is especially good for those of us who are more emotionally reserved. There are tons of activities throughout freshers week and beyond that you can get involved with; joining clubs and societies are a fantastic way to make friends outside of your course and accommodation, whilst volunteering opportunities can provide you with a sense of belonging and connection to the local Bloomsbury community.

There is much we can do to tackle loneliness more generally too; talking openly about things is a great place to start. We tend to discuss mental health issues on a frequent basis – how it is ok to be anxious about exams, or stressed over relationships. But the feeling of loneliness rarely comes up. We need to think about why that is, and do our best to reach out to those who might be socially isolated. Accepting that it is natural to feel lonely is important. To the dismay of many, life is not all singing, all dancing all of the time. The sooner we come to grips with that, the better.

So as you navigate the whirlwind of freshers week – awkward encounters and repetitive conversations – remember it is normal to miss your friends and family. We all feel lonely at times, it is a shared human experience, and with such high hopes and expectations, it is easy to feel underwhelmed.

University is no walk in the park – you are likely to laugh and cry in equal amounts. So be kind to yourself, and if you see someone who looks left out, be a good samaritan and say hello. Despite our inability to talk about it, it is ok to feel alone.