Navigating What Andrew Tate Represents: How I Learned my Friends Hate Women

I dismissed him. My friends adore him. Yes, we are all men, and we need help.

I have never cared about Andrew Tate. He has established himself as an attention seeking charlatan. Why should I give him any attention? I barely remember watching his clips. If you played his irrational ravings, or if he walked past me in the street, I would not recognise him. As such, I am detached from his radical chauvinism.

Unfortunately, not all young men share my misgivings. Before being banned, Tate had amassed 4.6 million followers on Instagram, and 700,000 subscribers on his YouTube account (Holpuch, 2022). Alongside the tremendous global reach these platforms gave him, he became a weekly feature on multiple podcasts. Some were notably more infamous, such InfoWars, hosted by conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. During the pinnacle of Tate’s influence, I encountered many young men who identified with his messages, and interpreted his words as gospel.

My own encounter with the “Andrew Tate effect” came from my childhood friend Jeremy. 

Born into a well-to-do family, Jeremy had a privileged childhood. Like many young men, he played rugby, graduated with regular grades and had a bright future ahead of him. But before he could start his life, he was required to serve in Singapore’s conscription service. All conscripts have their own experiences, but Jeremy’s was difficult by anyone’s standards. He was not a Singaporean citizen, carrying only permanent residency status, yet he was legally compelled to dig holes and suffer extreme weather conditions. All the while, he saw his female peers, who were full, passport-wielding citizens, enjoying beach trips in Thailand, internships with big league companies and even starting college life. 

Stuck guarding a military camp with bad internet access and even worse bosses, he wondered, “I wish I could live the life of Singaporean girls”. This came before his predicament worsened. His platoon friends bullied him, his girlfriend left him, and he got rejected from his dream school. These series of difficult situations eroded his self-esteem until nothing remained.  

It is in this environment that the hateful diatribe of Andrew Tate finds fertile ground. In a combination of despair, and a tragic misunderstanding of what it means to be a “man”, Tate’s words inspired Jeremy to blame gender relations for his struggles.

Tragically, Jeremy is not alone. During my time in the uniformed service, many conscripts felt the same affinity for Tate’s views. Feeling unappreciated by the state, they became resentful of the comparative freedoms they believed their female peers retained. They believed women had escaped these struggles, and were fuelled by the appearance of a gender disparity. It was this sentiment that encouraged adulation for a figure as polarising as Andrew Tate. 

Through suffering and difficulty, Tate’s rampant misogyny suddenly becomes appealing. Perhaps this is a sign that some men are struggling, and need to be heard. Tate continues to have nothing constructive to say. However, he did not need to make sense for his global audience to subscribe to his ideology. His followers do not represent the average man. Nevertheless they show how extreme suffering can force radical solutions. It takes just a few dice rolls, a longer prison sentence, losing the custody of one's children, for the vile pontifications of Andrew Tate to become palatable.

You can ban Tate from social media channels, you can cancel him from shows, but that does not remove the reason for the messianic status he attained. His charisma can only pull them in so far, but society cannot polarise men further. I still do not care about Tate. What concerns me is how so many young men, so many of my friends, could be enamoured with such extremist views. Tate should not have been able to gain this level of traction in the first place. I do not believe his followers are inherently evil, nor do I imagine they truly hate women. However they chose to subscribe to a truly toxic version of masculinity, and that needs to be addressed. Solving this development goes beyond regulating Andrew Tate. There needs to be an assessment of the sociological reasons that caused so many to idolise such a false prophet.

Many years later, high school friends held a reunion back in Singapore. Jeremy had since faded into obscurity, living outside the country. Only in passing was he mentioned. All were disappointed that their friend descended into the world of hate.