A Case for Celebrating Platonic Love this V-Day
Photo Coutesy: Silar via Wikimedia Commons
One tray of brownies, a tub of vanilla ice cream, and my friends crowded around my kitchen table, has been my Valentine’s tradition ever since I got my heart broken. In the wake of what seemed like romantic torture, I decided that I had to end my self-incurred isolation and turn what society says should be a cozy date night into one of a manifestation of my treasured friendships instead. Whilst I can’t say Galentine’s has revolutionised my understanding of love, I do believe love finds a different meaning when you open yourself to not just accepting it from everywhere, but from reveling in the platonic love in your life.
It’s a common trope that single people are supposed to dread Valentine’s, forced to withdraw into their bedrooms and cry under their covers because they haven’t got a special someone to send them flowers or to eat an overpriced meal with. Lately, the trend has been changing. We see more appreciation for platonic relationships in media and film (see The Bear’s Sydney and Carmy), but there is still an annoyingly sizable group of people who think it is normal to express their desire for a bus to run them over every time they see a happy couple on their for-you-page.
I see it as a symptom of the rise in social isolation we have been experiencing since the pandemic and the loss of social spaces, which makes occasions like Galentine’s or, hear me out, Palentine’s (to include our best friends of every gender) all the more important. You should never think that you could not do the same activities that we see couples do (within reason, of course) with your friends. There’s nothing about movie nights, ice-skating or expensive dinners that is solely restricted to romantic love and neither is Valentine’s. Our expression of platonic love is equally important in creating balance between our relationships, letting us nestle deeper into our identity as someone capable of love and being loved.
Unfortunately, I’m guessing everyone has had that one friend (and if you haven’t, you will) that gets a partner and suddenly disappears from your life, forsaking their identity in exchange for a co-dependency that will leave them completely broken when the illusions of love and passion burn out. It’s incredibly infuriating as a friend to watch the once dazzling and daring friend that never seemed to care what others think, lose their personality to a relationship that is about as healthy as a festering animal bite. Whilst it’s incredibly difficult to cure these obsessions when they already have taken hold of the mind like a parasite that’s hell-bent on creating a monstrous off-spring, we can avoid these all-consuming forms of love through sharing love in numerous different forms.
In the last few years, I’ve taken to buying a box of chocolates and making sure everyone in my classes gets one on the 14th of February. Whilst the chocolate will last less than three seconds and the gesture is relatively minor, it will stop them from believing that Valentine’s is just for romance.
My first Galentine’s may have been about forgetting how I didn’t feel loved, but ever since it has served as a reminder to show me how much and how deeply I actually am, and I can only wish that for all of you as well.